“Autism needs more people with blue on their chests.”
It may be that sensitivity is born with us. The maternal instinct or love for children is something that most women do not cultivate, they have it there, in their hearts or on the surface, it depends on where they are needed. I say it because I know it, because I have always experienced it, because even without being a mother, my weakness was already children, each one of them is special, it makes you smile or cry in less than a minute.
But today I am not talking about the woman or the mother that I am, today I am telling you the story of a courageous mother. Today I am not talking about children, although a very special one is the reason for this story.
Lissett Abreu Quiroz has long since lost her surname, now she is simply “Fernandito’s mother.” I had heard a lot about her but I met her in an activity that the Office of the Historian of the Camagüey city carried out with teachers, family members and children with autism spectrum disorder. That day she raised her voice, sweet, but also concise, heart-rending and grateful.
This April 2nd, World Autism Awareness Day, Lissette allowed me to peek into her life and to get closer through her story to a world that is not so well known. For her, autism have a different concept, it stops being a neurodevelopmental disorder to become Fernandito’s way of being, “he is autistic, he is not sick, it is a condition he has to live with all his life.”
I knew then that Fernandito was born on April 15th, 2009 and that he spent many hours in front of the television or the computer, that he liked music a lot, so much that in the family it was even said that he would become a musician, it came from his soul. He did not reject the caresses but Lisette always had the latent desire that he be the one to give them.
A day in our memories
On February 24th, before he was three years old, he woke up convulsing. He was diagnosed with epilepsy, and from then on, their lives changed forever. The concern that something was wrong came from the nursery school. They explained to her that he did not interact with other children, that he spent hours in front of the stereo even when it was not turned on, and that the only thing that seemed to interest him was music.
All this generated an insurmountable fear and they began to seek help but the uncertainty made them desperate because no one told them what they were looking for. This mother tells us that it was Lissette Picón who first spoke to them about autism. Knowing what was happening woke her up from that lethargy in which she had submerged, it was autism and then it was time to move on even if she had no idea what was coming.
Knowing about her gave her strength and hope, however, for Fernando, the father, “was a major blow.” The word autism began to “hammer in the family” because until then it was only in the vocabulary of both of them like the memory of a movie or a book read. They questioned themselves over and over again if it was autism, always hoping for therapies and specialists. “They lived gray and desolate days until the diagnosis arrived.” Then there was only learning about autism, because they understood that this was Fernandito’s way of being and that he is going to live like this for his whole life. They only had to help him, understand him and be part of his world.
“Fernandito understands me and I understand him. He knows how to say what he wants but above all things Fernandito speaks with his eyes, he is someone very special and the one he welcomes into his world it is because this person is also very special, he goes to the essences, no the external layer. He and I have a wonderful communication, maybe it is that I have not matured enough or simply that I have learned from him. ”
She has not been alone because she has felt the support of many at the time of the diagnosis and the early treatment. The nursery school, the equine therapy center and the Héroes del Moncada School have been her oasis, but projects like Blue Hope have always reached out to her.
The Office in their lives
However Lissette makes an aside and gets emotional when she talks about the Office of the Historian of the Camagüey city: “their workers understand that children with autism spectrum disorder are exceptional showing love because these children discover the soul when they look at us and if they kiss us, then our chest overflows with such contagious joy of which I sincerely believe that every worker in the Office is a part. Family members and children with autism spectrum disorder thank the Office and in a special way its director José Rodríguez Barreras for the human and beautiful gesture of sponsoring their school. They have not only contributed material goods, which have not been few, but they have offered their hearts. They not only protect the city heritage, they also enhance it. ”
Without a doubt, children make us the way we are, it is not true that only they acquire the best of us, parents always come out enriched in the relationship with our children and for Lissette Fernandito it is the force that makes her wake up every morning, he is the air she needs to breathe, it is her joy, her peace, her better half, together with his little Lissette María. The children’s love is not divided, it multiplies and her mother thanks Fernandito because he has helped her to be stronger, has given her the courage to face life, he has taught her to love music, to dance without shyness, to do what you want with all the freedom you want, he has taught her to say what she feels and when she feels it, without filters, without fear of what people would think. He has taught her above all to never give up hope, to believe and to grow as a human being. That is why she tells us full of tears: “Fernandito has a unique light in his eyes of which I am very proud. I know that he came into my life so that I could learn to live it, to enjoy it, to share it. It is a precious gift and my purpose is for him to know that I am very grateful, thank you very much for existing. ”
I don’t know if we are all born with the same sensitivity, I’m sure many men have it too, but Lissett, Fernandito’s mother is one of the most sensitive and courageous women I’ve ever met, she grows every day, she keeps going. She showed me that no matter what life brings us; family, hope and love cannot be lost. This sweet and warrior mother made me cry and laugh, she made me say I love you, she made me dance and sing without shyness, she made me say what I think every time. So I decided that Fernandito not only enriches her, we have all learned to be happier, just like they are. We have all learned today to wear blue on our chests.
Translated by: Aileen Álvarez García
